News
WIFE VERSUS HUSBAND
Wife: honey can you please help me clean the garden
Husband: do i look like a gardener?
Wife:ooh am sorry honey, ok then fix bathroom door plz
Husband: do i look like a carpenter?
Husband walks out, at returning, he finds the garden cleaned and the door
fixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself
Wife: its not me
Husband: who then?
Wife: Johny our neighbor
Husband: how much did u pay him?
Wife: No, he just gave me 2 options, bread or sex
Husband: i hope you gave him bread
Wife: Do I look like a baker?
Here are 10 hilarious Mugabe quotes that will make your day.
1. “Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading”
2. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire”.
3. “If you are ugly; you are ugly – stop talking about inner beauty because we don’t walk around with X-rays”
4. “Dear sister, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s raining. You are not an umbrella”
5. “It’s better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn’t even drill it herself.”
6. “Some of you girls can’t even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade”.
7. ”If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Penis in public.”
8. “Some girls don’t attend the gym but look physically fit because of running from one man to another”
9. “When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country”
10. ”God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker”.
AKPOS ON DRUGS
Akpos was sitting by the corner of the road.
A policeman was also walking his sniffer dog.
Suddenly, the dog ran to Akpos and then ran back to the policeman barking.
The policeman walked up to Akpos and this conversation ensued:
POLICEMAN: This dog tells me you’re on drugs
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
After a heart surgery, Akpos told his doctor that his wife was afraid to have s*x with him. The Doctor assured him that it would do him no harm. Akpos asked him to
give it to him in writing and the doctor wrote furiously and gave it to him.
It said, “Dear Mrs Akpos, your husband is in such remarkable good physical condition, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could make love two or three times every night.”
Akpos was delighted but requested a small amendment, “Could you take out ‘Mrs Akpos’ and make it, “To whom it may concern?”.
Akpos: I’m on drugs? You’re the one talking to a dog.
JUST FOR LAUGHS!!
WIFE VERSUS HUSBAND
Wife: honey can you please help me clean the garden
Husband: do i look like a gardener?
Wife:ooh am sorry honey, ok then fix bathroom door plz
Husband: do i look like a carpenter?
Husband walks out, at returning, he finds the garden cleaned and the door
fixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself
Wife: its not me
Husband: who then?
Wife: Johny our neighbor
Husband: how much did u pay him?
Wife: No, he just gave me 2 options, bread or sex
Husband: i hope you gave him bread
Wife: Do I look like a baker?
Here are 10 hilarious Mugabe quotes that will make your day.
1. “Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading”
2. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire”.
3. “If you are ugly; you are ugly – stop talking about inner beauty because we don’t walk around with X-rays”
4. “Dear sister, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s raining. You are not an umbrella”
5. “It’s better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn’t even drill it herself.”
6. “Some of you girls can’t even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade”.
7. ”If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Penis in public.”
8. “Some girls don’t attend the gym but look physically fit because of running from one man to another”
9. “When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country”
10. ”God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker”.
AKPOS ON DRUGS
Akpos was sitting by the corner of the road.
A policeman was also walking his sniffer dog.
Suddenly, the dog ran to Akpos and then ran back to the policeman barking.
The policeman walked up to Akpos and this conversation ensued:
POLICEMAN: This dog tells me you’re on drugs
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
After a heart surgery, Akpos told his doctor that his wife was afraid to have s*x with him. The Doctor assured him that it would do him no harm. Akpos asked him to
give it to him in writing and the doctor wrote furiously and gave it to him.
It said, “Dear Mrs Akpos, your husband is in such remarkable good physical condition, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could make love two or three times every night.”
Akpos was delighted but requested a small amendment, “Could you take out ‘Mrs Akpos’ and make it, “To whom it may concern?”.
Akpos: I’m on drugs? You’re the one talking to a dog.
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