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JUST FOR LAUGHS - A Tale of a Cat

12/09/2016 04:28:00 pm GIVERS FORUM 15 Comments

Corporal James,a police officer,just got a promotion and was posted to a new state.He wasn't a very friendly officer and he didn't really get along with his fellow officers.He wasn't too happy with this his new promotion because it meant he had to uproot his life and move to a new place. He didn't have any option but to go and there he made up his mind to tackle anything that came his way down. He seemed up to the task to handle any issue whatsoever. He never liked to speak pidgin English and always felt like he could do things alone. His colleagues noticed his attitude and decided to set him up with a kidnap Case. He was always being teased by his colleagues about his too gentle attitude so they made a bet with him that he could handle a kidnap case,they would stop their teasing. He agreed. 


On the other hand was Mr Wilson from America. He was to be the victim in the kidnap case. Corporal(CPL) James was assigned to be his guard for one day till he travels back. The two met at Mr Wilson's place on the island. After they had introduced themselves the operation started. For the first few hours,it seemed like CPL James had won the bet. Nothing seemed difficult.

Later that evening, Mr Wilson woke (CPL) John up with a phone call from upstairs

WILSON: Excuse me CPL. I think there's a dog barking outside. Can you hear it?
JAMES: Eh I hear it sir. Is it troubling you sir?
WILSON: No not really. It just reminds me of my dog back in the states,Bruno. Whenever it barks like this it means it's time to go to the loo
JAMES: That's lovely sir

Mr Wilson kept talking about his dog for 30 long minutes. After which he asked:

WILSON: When dogs bark here,what does it mean?
JACK: (frustrated)It means they are possessed by an evil spirit sir. And they are seeking for blood.
WILSON: Oh dear. Evil spirit like the underworld. That's tragic. You know back in the states........

WILSON uses another 30 minutes to speak about how his wife didn't feed the cat and it meowed with a sad voice.
WILSON: Do you have cats,CPL? Oh they are wonderful pets they bring me so much joy. Whenever I think about going back home to my Pet,it takes my mind off the kidnappers that called.

Again he went on and on,talking and slapping CPL James' arm. After 2 and a half hours of torture,CPL James asked:

JAMES: Excuse me sir. Please do you have the kidnappers number? It's urgent
WILSON: Okay sure. Here you go.

James takes the number and dials on His phone

JAMES: Hello oga kidnapper,na CPL James Tunde Oluwatobilola be this. I use God name beg you abeg. Make una come carry this man from here. We dey no 12 drive Victoria Island. Abeg make una come carry am now if not I go find other interested persons abeg.

Few hours after the incident, the CPL went back to the station to admit he lost the bet and faced the penalty of what he did. On getting there he saw the kidnappers and Mr Wilson at the station already

JAMES: Ah ah. Wetin happen. Why una bring am back?
KIDNAPPERS: (Shouts angrily)Oga na bad market you be. We No kidnap again. The man no wan gree stop talk. Who be Bruno abeg? We no fit do again. We don return am. E better make una arrest us than keep this man. I for nearly kill myself.
WILSON: EXCUSE me sir. I enjoyed the song on your car radio. Please can you give me a ride back home with the same song?

KIDNAPPERS: (Hiss) Oga take the key. I dash you the car. I no do again. I dey go submit myself to Christ for church.

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